Why choose counseling with me?
I’m glad you asked! It’s important to know what you’re going to get with this important investment in yourself and your development.
You’re likely here because you’re considering counseling.
You know you want to make a change in your life but it’s hard to know where to begin. Maybe you’ve felt better before and you’d like to get back there. Or maybe you’ve been chewing on the same negative emotions for a while, and feel stressed, looking from the outside in through the frosted window pane to what could be in your life: warmth, wellness, comfort. Sometimes, it’s hard to know how to get there alone.
In counseling, we work together to focus in on your goals, dreams, and aspirations. We examine what doesn’t fit and work on bringing it more in line with the life you’d like to lead.
I am confident in my ability to walk along this path beside you, collaboratively setting and achieving your wellness and life goals. It’s my life’s work to provide affirmation to folks who wish to stand out and achieve their passions, as well as those who just want to feel better, with self-acceptance as-is.
I am pleased to offer collaborative counseling, coaching, and educational sessions to those who want to make a different kind of change than the ones they might seek in more traditional counseling settings. I aim to provide a warm, open presence where no topic is off-limits. I love talking passionately about dreams, goals, relationships, identity, and sexuality topics.
Please read on to see what topics I generally work with when meeting with folks virtually.
Please contact me when you’re ready to take the next step.
Here’s a look at some of the topics I work with regularly —
You’re feeling exhausted.
Another financial crisis? More student loan stuff? Am I ever gonna be able to buy a house? Why is all my time spent unpacking my childhood stuff? What even is a 401k? Am I really going to have to see my family over the holidays again and have to talk about politics? Why can’t I just get my shit together?!
Our generation grew up “more connected” than ever, but it feels easy to be disconnected irl. It’s hard to meet people and make new friends when you’re constantly in the grind of work and self improvement. Maybe you feel alone and want to work on your social skills.
Maybe you feel awkward and chronically stressed, or overthink about past or recent events that makes you feel like crap. You feel an immense pressure to succeed and are trying to figure out what a work/life balance even is. Maybe you are a perfectionist and hold yourself to an unsustainable standard, and keep trying to follow a script of “shoulds” in your life. Do you even believe in the shoulds?!
And, maybe our current culture’s got you down. It can feel like an absolute mess out here and you’re just trying to figure out wtf “adulting” even means to you, while dealing with woes and narratives about collapse-y stuff and politics.
I get it. I’m a millennial too, and it feels hard to be sandwiched into this way of being. We’re trying to cobble together a life and way of being that there might not be a script for, and it might feel weird to forge a new path and not follow in the footsteps of generations before. Whatever the case, I have a passion for this work, and empathy for what you’re going through.
Anxiety & Depression
Perhaps you’ve heard these words and feel like they fit. Maybe you’re curious about directions of treatment. Maybe you’re new to therapy, maybe you’ve tried therapy before and want a fresh new approach to self-betterment.
Whatever the case, it’s the goal of therapy to manage anxious and depressive symptoms of what’s going on with the ultimate goal of you not needing therapy anymore. Therapy provides you with tools to counter anxious and depressed thoughts, find better self-acceptance, and increased feelings of calm and wellbeing.
I use a framework of cognitive-behavioral therapy, with feminist and humanistic roots. I aim to provide you with unconditional positive regard and support you through life’s shit. I aim to be an unbiased, reliable narrator who can help you to reflect on life and circumstances to mold it to better fit your individual goals. I will hold you accountable, and will also excitedly tell you when you’re doing well and kicking ass and affirm your uniqueness and positive qualities.
You’ve heard the word, and it’s a Big (capital B) word. Trauma. What does it mean to you?
There is no one-size-fits all definition of trauma. It could have been something that you keep returning to and reflecting on. It could have been something that happened to you or a loved one, or something you witnessed or heard about. It could have felt “fine” thereafter and then come up down the road, or it could have made life hit pause in a big way. There might be trauma there causing bodily symptoms — fight or flight, anxiety, stress, depression, chronic pain, fatigue, you name it. Or it might be invisible, waiting to be uncovered and examined.
Whatever the case, managing trauma is a Big job, let alone on its own. Having a seasoned professional to walk along a healing path with you can be helpful to distance yourself from the trauma, understand it better, and then work to process it.
My role is to join you in this journey, and to help us look at trauma and its effects using a lens of curiosity, compassion, and understanding. This can take some practice. We might need to unlearn some stuff that felt necessary for our protection and safety before. That’s OK. Healing isn’t always linear.
I’m passionate about working with folks to create their best sex life. Maybe this means starting from ground zero and scaffolding up what we want from a place of “I don’t know.” Maybe this means deprogramming messages about sexuality, morality, sexual performance, or what sex “should be” that were unfortunately given to us.
Sex isn’t just a “thing we do,” and isn’t just a one-size fits all act. Sex can be what we create it to be.
Likewise, understanding better one’s own sexual identity or sexual orientation does not just have to be a binary labelling experience. There are layers to this aspect of identity, performance, behavior, and play that we can work to better understand. The goal is self-understanding, but also self-acceptance, reassurance, and peace. Understanding your sexuality, and building a sex life that you want to have is a worthwhile investment.
Sexual Pain & Painful Sex
I specialize in working with women who experience painful sex or sexual pain. This includes women who are just beginning their journey and just learned that this “is a thing,” women who have already received a formal diagnosis, and women who have undergone various treatments for pelvic pain. This also includes cis and trans women, nonbinary AFAB folks, as well as women who have undergone gender confirmation surgery.
Making peace with a painful pelvis can be a journey and a half. I am here to walk this road with you, and work on deconstructing limiting beliefs and ideas taught to us about sexuality, sex, relationships, and performance.
Having pain with sex and pelvic pain can be hard, life-changing, and disruptive to the lives and relationships we want to have. Seeking a comforting, therapeutic space where you can discuss this all and not feel that it’s taboo can begin to open up more space within you to heal. Being understood and heard about your sexual pain can be relieving. And, practicing conversations about painful sex can provide benefits for when you’re ready to have these conversations in real life.
Gender Identity & Expression
Understanding one’s gender identity can be a daunting process, and incorporating a good-fit gender expression perhaps even more so. Seeking counseling for gender concerns or gender dysphoria can feel like a hard process because you want to ensure you get the right fit and are accepted and understood by your therapist.
Getting started on this process is not easy, but it is worth it. Many folks who seek counseling for dysphoria feel great relief. It’s helpful to try on new hats, and work out what really feels right to you.
Many folks seek counseling for dysphoria in order to receive approval for health insurance to begin to cover gender affirming services. And many continue counseling to work out a coming out plan, manage the ins and outs of a social or medical transition, cope with family and work and social aspects and interactions with gender identity and expression, as well as to deal with regular day-to-day therapy stuff and treatment for other stuff like anxiety or depression.
I often get the feedback that it is relieving to see someone for therapy and not have to explain or defend one’s pronouns, expression, or identity. Facing acceptance and affirmation from a person on your team is a huge step forward in managing symptoms of dysphoria in our complicated social landscape.
Healthy Relationships? Do we know her? Who is she?!
If we’re looking to form a better connection with positive relating to others, therapy can be a great step in that direction.
Maybe you don’t know why you keep ending up single, and you want that to change. Maybe you’re looking for more insight into your relationships and why they’re not feeling like a good fit. Maybe you’ve dealt with unhealthy relationships in the past and you’d like to process that and put it behind you.
I’m a firm believer in “you’re not attracting assholes, you just aren’t setting boundaries well enough for you to weed ’em out.” Clarifying in on boundary setting and people-pleasing behaviors can help to combat unhealthy and codependent relationship styles. Better understanding your own attachment style can help to bring needed insight into rectifying attachment issues.
Therapy is great because just by doing it, you are working on building better communication skills which you will take into future relationships. Attending therapy tailored to you can help you to unpack that relationship baggage so you aren’t dragging it along into the future unnecessarily.
Maybe you’re a newbie, or maybe you’re a bigshot on some niche subreddits. I’m not here to judge.
I provide a therapeutic space for folks who align with traditional sexual norms, and those who don’t. If you’ve been nervous about counseling before because you aren’t sure that they’re going to get it, seeing a counselor well-versed in various aspects of human sexuality can be beneficial.
I’ve heard laughter and sighs of relief from folks who were grateful that they didn’t have to explain what this term meant or why they like xyz thing. Seeing a counselor who “gets it” can be helpful to your process of opening up in therapy about topics you really want to work on.
Whether you’re a sex worker, involved in a nontraditional field, or just like to have a little fun in a way you don’t see on Lifetime, seeing a counselor will probably be good for your mental health and wellbeing. Ensuring that your counselor is a good fit is a best practice for ensuring you’ll get the most out of therapy.
More than a party of two? Single poly? Managing relationship stuff from a group of partners, metamours, and more?
Ensuring you are a good fit with your therapist is important, and it’s scary sometimes to come out about open stuff because you don’t want to hear it again like you’ve heard it all before: this is more than just a “swingin’ lifestyle,” and you are so far beyond the narrative of “make up your mind;” if you are feeling like you’re nonmonog and it’s here to stay, that’s OK and not a therapist’s job to try and change that for you when we’re enmeshed in monogamy culture.
Therapy can be helpful in transforming jealousy into compersion by understanding one’s underlying beliefs, values, and scripts around relating to one or more partners. Therapy is also useful for clarifying one’s desired relationship style and one’s relational orientation.
Communication can be hard enough for the singly partnered, and talk therapy can be a huge help in building positive communication skills that can be brought back to your relationship(s).
A caveat: generally I see individuals; I’m not a couple’s or family clinician. If that’s what you’re looking for, you’re still welcome to contact me to get some poly-friendly recommendations for clinicians!
Navigating Identity & Purpose
Doing what you want to do ain’t always easy. It can feel quite scary, in fact.
Recruiting help to build the life you want to lead is helpful. By inviting an unbiased perspective into your life, you welcome in feedback and suggestions that can help you to begin achieving the things you’ve always wanted to do and try.
Therapy is useful for understanding and breaking old patterns and habits that are no longer best serving you. It’s a collaborative relationship where you direct the boat and your clinician helps you to navigate.
Therapists can help to connect you with helpful resources, new ways of thinking, and caring feedback. All important when working on the momentous and important goal of living the life you want to lead.
Let’s do therapy in a cozy setting that you control. Online and phone therapy is easy, convenient, and helps you to access “the work” in a space that feels safe, soothing, and validating for you.
Online therapy means you can take me with you throughout your journey, whether that involves work or school, home, leisure, travel, or sweatpants and Xbox day. We can drink tea together, we can laugh together, we can cry together, we can close our eyes together and curl up under our fave blankets, on a beach somewhere, or in a hammock in the mountains. Let’s get cracking.
Contact me today.
Let’s get started on this journey together. Hit me up with the details and we can have a consultation to determine if our work together would be a good fit.